Reply to question where we find each other
As you might know already, there are many community "gathering spots" in Ulaanbaatar. If you're a gay man, you can start networking with the community through the Zaluus Eruul Mend organization that works on health aspect of the gay male community in Ulaanbaatar. If you're a gay female, in other words, if you're a lesbian, there are no official "gathering spots", the only space for Mongolian dykes is the http://www.mongodyke.org.mn website so far.
As for living without a girlfriend in a gay woman's case, or a boyfriend in a gay man's case, I think it depends from person to person. Some queer people from 1950s or 1960s had said in many documentaries that it was not until the age of 35 that they had their first lovers... Celibacy is no fun, though.
I hope it answers your question sufficiently.